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When medics arrived they found unconscious lying on the floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe.

She just stared at me and kept going.” web site regurgitated the story using the same premise and photograph but changing several details, stating that the incident occurred in New York not Louisiana, that the phallic food was a Johnsonville Brand Sausage and not a Jimmy Dean sausage, and that the store involved was a Price Chopper and not a Wal Mart. It might have something to do with the fact that both stories were completely made up.It wasn’t love at first Tweet, but the attraction our conversations and Google searching generated caught me off guard. Here’s a word you’ll never read about in the more restrained online love stories – masturbation. Later that day, I woke up to a text message from him.I didn’t think it would go any further than an unrequited crush. I mean, how else are two people – separated by thousands of miles but who nevertheless share immeasurable bursts of affection and passion – supposed to connect with each other? “I love the sounds you make,” he wrote, and he wasn’t talking about my Martha Generic impersonation.Police are calling this a crime of the unthinkable, something that most people would never imagine doing.On Monday, police were called to a Louisiana Walmart under the suspicion that a customer was shoplifting food.

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